A FEW MORE POSITIVE ASPECTS:
That last post ended on a negative note, so I’ll try to throw in a few more positive aspects here…
I did learn the value of equanimity and living in the present moment. For example, I experienced the fact that a significant amount of suffering comes from resisting the present moment and feeling aversion to it – for the first few days, when I experienced pain in my legs/back from sitting for so long, I would be constantly wishing it would go away, always wondering when the meditation session would be over. And since it wouldn’t go away, and the session wasn’t over, it caused me a lot of mental anguish. After learning about equanimity, I would do my best to simply observe the pain objectively, without feeling aversion, just accepting it as it was in the present, and not thinking about that past or future, and even analyzing the pain with my mind to see exactly how it felt in different areas, what type of pain, at what point in my body it began fading away, etc – just doing as much as possible to accept it – and I found that that made it much more tolerable. The pain was still there, but my suffering was reduced.
Living in the present moment is easier said than done though, and when the pain got bad enough I couldn’t do it any more, but I did experience the value of being able to do so at least somewhat.
Buddhists say that craving and aversion are the cause of suffering, and they are also contrary to living in the present moment – for example craving is wishing for something in the future instead of accepting the present moment as it is. Somehow this doesn’t mean that you can’t set goals for the future etc – I don’t quite get how that all fits together.
It also takes determination and persistence to complete the retreat – it is not a walk in the park – so I suppose I built up some of those qualities in myself also.
I also gained some sort of control over my mind, so that is a benefit also.
CONCLUSION:
So yes, I did benefit from the retreat, but I feel like they were all minimal improvements – I don’t feel like I actually eliminated any Sankharas and purified my mind or improved myself in any significant way which was the main point.
The “old students” (who had done these retreats before, and many of whom had been doing vipassana for years) for the most part did not seem particularly impressive to me – generally not the type of people I want to become like from what I could tell.
I’m glad I went, because it was an interesting experience and there were many great aspects to the retreat, but since the ultimate goal (improving myself in some way) was not achieved, I was, overall, disappointed because I got very little out of it.
Do I recommend it? Yes, IF you have 10 days to blow with nothing better to do, and IF you have read this entire review and have a realistic idea what to expect.
There is a lot more elaboration possible, but I’ll wait to expand until I get questions about specific things.
I welcome your comments and questions. Please type them in below!
Tags: Goenka, Meditation, retreat, Vipassana
Did you have a meditation practice before you went? After?
I am thinking about attending a retreat with this group in Illinois. I meditate now, and find it very helpful. But I have never meditated for more than half an hour at a time and struggle with maintaining a daily practice. Also, I find it much easier to read books about meditation and to talk about it than to actually do it. I am considering the 10 day retreat in hopes that it will help me be better about meditating with greater regularity.
You mentioned that you felt that this experience did not largely change you. In the book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron talks about how you can still be the same old person even after many years of putting work into meditation and this this is okay. She says wanting ourselves to be someone different than who we are is a form of aggression towards the self. When I first read this I was disappointed–isn’t the whole point to be a different person??? But then I realized that she is right about the importance of accepting all of ourselves and having a loving attitude towards ourselves.
Are you familiar with Byron Katie? She is not a meditation person, but her work is a great compliment to meditation practice in my opinion. There are some youtube videos of her that give you an idea of what she is about. Her first book is called Loving What Is and I highly recommend it. You can download worksheets from her website that explain how to do the work:
http://www.thework.com/index.asp
Warmly,
Charlotte
Hi Charlotte,
Thanks for your comments. No, I did not practice meditation before attending the retreat. I’d tried it a few times, but usually I’d just get bored / frustrated and give up on it pretty quickly.
You mentioned you’re hoping the retreat will help you to be better at meditating with more regularity… I expect it likely will help with that.
Since the retreat I haven’t been meditating much, although I do very occasionally when feel the urge; it’s nice to know that now I have the ability and experience to do so properly when I choose to
I can see the value of just accepting who you are, but I find it is easier said than done. I’ll check for that book @ the library.
I hadn’t heard of Byron Katie, but her website looks interesting at first glance – I’ll check it out in more detail. Thanks again for your thoughts,
NNB